Hope everyone is having a good weekend! I've got another guest post for you which I am surprised and excited about. This time I brought in Loren, my "baby" brother and bassist for Queens Over Kings. He's wise beyond his years talking about how to be confident. See you Tuesday when I talk some updates!
There will always be a time when we are consumed by nervous thoughts running through our heads. Think big speaking projects, playing instruments in a performance, or simply introducing yourself to new people. These things tend to draw a lot of premeditated thoughts even if you’ve prepared. Anxiety can easily set in and we start experiencing the stereotypical “bad things” that normally give us the feeling of dread before we present ourselves. Where did all our confidence go? What do you do in that moment? As a person who doesn’t like to be, let alone want to be, the center of attention, confidence can be difficult to find. Today I thought to share how I gain and maintain confidence, specifically when I’m on stage with Queens Over Kings.
Confidence was never my strong suit. Obviously I’m a musician, but that doesn’t mean I’ve mastered the feelings of being on stage. I’ve definitely had those moments where I’ve messed up a rhythm or missed a note thanks to nerves. Oh, and school presentations? Yeah I’m not really good at those either. I’m pretty sure that everyone has had an issue with confidence at one time or another. My most recent trial of confidence was while working on one of our songs, “Always (All Ways).” For a change of pace it was recommended that I do a bass solo. Now I do not volunteer for solos in the first place, so this was new to me. I am fine sitting on the back line. But I had to do it. I just didn’t know how.
Reaching the point where you decide how to be confident is important. However it’s not always easy to do again and again. It might be easier if you find what works and then do it every time you need it. I've got a few suggestions.
- Listen to Music - Of course I'm going to suggest this one. Choose a song that either calms your nerves or gets you pumped up. I was always confident in my abilities without putting them in others’ faces. But the bass solo? I just didn’t feel like it. I started to focus on lyrics from our first original song, “Lock & Key.” I can’t count the ways, but I sure can count the miles... Basically it hit me that if I was comfortable with my talents standing in the back, then I should be comfortable up front too.
- Portray A Positive Attitude - Come up with a confidence pose. Think about a pose in which you feel the most important or confident. It sounds silly - believe me I thought it was too - but it’s something Kristyn says makes a big difference for her. Maybe something similar would work for you.
- Pick A Place - Pick a quiet room or “happy place” that you can make yours. I often go to my bedroom. It’s the best place to get away from everything (and when sharing living space with 12 people you have to find a place to hide somewhere). Your happy place could either be in your house, or maybe it’s out back under that one tree. It doesn’t really matter where it is, what really matters is whether or not it makes you feel comfortable.
My bass solo is a work in progress but I’m becoming more comfortable with it thanks to time and trying to do better with self confidence. I’m realizing that I can’t sit around and do nothing because I have something to contribute too. I consider confidence a life saver of sorts because it makes a final product that much better. You earned success after all the work you put in! Best wishes to all of you lovely people out there. Think of these ideas next time you have to go out there and remember that you're awesome. I hope this message brought some form of confidence to you.